Overseas Missionary Work in my Eyes

It's funny how we term missionary work as going overseas, but really it is the call of all Christians as we don't belong to this world so technically we are strangers everywhere. Therefore, every Chrisitan is called to be a missionary. Some stay in their home country, others are called oveseas for a short time, and others for a lifetime. For me, I'm not sure yet if I'm meant to be overseas for a lifetime. This year here has been a huge learning experience for me serving in Haiti for almost a year so far. It will be a year on September 7!

I volunteered 3 places, but most of the time has been spent at Hopital Adventiste d'Haiti as the orthopedic nurse coordinator (as my job formed itself that title). I have seen and done so many things as a nurse that in America I would never get to without 3 plus months training in some departments (like helping with 3 terrible head trauma patients...literally transporting the one guy in the back of his family's car with a trunk that didn't shut; having the security guard ask to me to assess a premature baby born 2 months early because there was no Peds doctor available; having to learn to work in recovery room & train other nurses when I've never worked in recovery room myself, etc etc). Trying to make things work as a nurse when I don't have all (actually many of) the resources I need. I have had to tackle less than desirable living conditions (like not so good hospital food- kind of just kidding) and work conditions, but still nothing compared to what a lot of people endure. I have learned a 2^nd language in order to communicate. I have endured some interesting car rides. I have met wonderful people, especially my children patients and actually made lots of connections to Americans. I have gotten to tour the beautiful island and enjoy the wonderful fruits it has to offer. I got to meet (and will get to meet again) the compassion girl I've been sponsporing for 4 years and nothing could beat speaking to her in her own language. I've also been soaking up wonderful aspects of their cultures- their endurance and making things work when it doesn't really appear there is anything you can do; just singing to praise God sporadically; the smiles & happiness on kids who live on dirt floors; joining a young adult Haitian choir; the joy Haitians give in giving you a gift (if you do something for them, they will repay you somehow); The greeting of a kiss on the cheek (going to have to remember not to do that in the U.S.); And living in a community of other Christians long term volunteers (like a college dorm again!)

I always saw myself as fitting in better with non-American cultures, but after being here awhile I realize the aspects of this culture that are equally frustrating to what I deal with in the states. I'm in a spot that I love Haiti and the people, but their work ethic and other little things can be difficult to understand coming from an American perspective. In general, they move very slow and work becomes more like a social hour. They often neglect basic care and provide unsafe care at times. And work items get stolen or misplaced (if not carefully watched or monitored, usually by foreigners). Basically there appears to not be much accountability nor ownership of their jobs. I'm not sure the causes or reasons. Some of it is probably lack of education and unorganization (in general, life is unorganized here but somehow functions). And many times the foreigners are called to do many things, and you start to wonder what they do when we are not here. I never saw myself as saying Americans are better than other countries, and I still don't think we are but without a little support from outside help, a lot of hospitals don't function as well. Every country has its own problems, but every country also has its own beauty!

Once I overheard an American say they believe Haitians appear to have less stress (based on observing how they work calmly & the joy seen by people in clinic) and we Americans could learn from them how to decrease the stress in our lives. Being around Haitians, you might think that watching them because they don't complain or they don't show it as much as Americans in general (they do appear more joyful or enjoy joking). But in all reality, I believe they have a deeper stress than most Americans because they have basic stresses most Americans have never known. Like what am I going to eat later today because there is no such thing as food stamps if they hit a hard time not finding a job. Or unknown when the next civil unrest or natural disaster will spring up. Or can I afford to send my children to elementary school. Or where can I go to get medical care when I only have $3 USD? There is no other solution for many of them so they choose to be grateful, serving, and joyful people in general despite the great hardships they endure (and I've noticied that a lot of times people base Haiti off of PaP, but actually people in PaP are much more rough than in the country...as is the case in most countries...so can't base most things off of PaP).

And my job here requires me to be in the middle, to “coordinate”, between the 2 very different culture work styles, which has proved to be very challenging at times especially when the long term doctor does not see eye to eye with a lot of things the hospital administration has asked of our service. And of course working with short term medical teams makes me realize why a lot of hospitals in Haiti will not accept ST medical teams every week. It's just exhausting because every team comes in wanting to do as much as they can (understandly because as we said, most people who need surgeries can not afford it and thus wait for free surgeons). Even though I'm here long term, I have worked way over 40 hours a week most weeks trying to keep up with everything (and I never get 1 day off a week unless I leave). This is why you shouldn't work and live in the same place (at least not hospital type work). Which becomes difficult for me to keep with normal daily routine of life, maintain a long term relationship, as well as try to build relationships with the Haitians. Most hospitals in Haiti do not have beds and other resources to keep up with this fast pace (so they do not allow ST teams as often as this hospital has). You can tell the orthopedic service has put a strain on this private hospital itself because it's mostly free. But the times I do get down and connect with the patients or any Haitian has been one of the most blessed parts of my time here. I hit a burnt out wall a couple weeks ago, but with the Word of God I've been pushing through it. I think a lot of the long term volunteers have had a time they hit one too.

And I'm learning how to deal with the poor vs rich (grasp the concept of how God wants us to deal with this issue). Even in America, the poor have better access to basic things (example: like trauma's and children are always taken care of in a hospital regardless of what a family has; food stamps & a welfare system; etc). Here, there are a lot of NGO's....but more than not, people don't get treated because yes, there are places still providing free care, but not enough to cover all the people who make just enough money to eat everyday. In Haiti, if you don't have money, you don't get taken care of medically (you have to pay upfront at most places). I've been told multiple times people don't even bother going to hospitals if they don't have money, they just stay home and have a much higher chance of dying due to lack of basic medical care. And don't get me wrong, it gets tough on me because there are people who try to get what they can even when they are well off enough to pay (but that happens in every country, people try to work the system). So I struggle sometimes with not becoming too hardened in order to prevent being taken advantage of because I don't want to miss out on those who really need it. Unfortunatley, like anywhere people who have the means to have pay for services, will attempt use the free services which takes away from those who really need. And also is causing less business for Haitian health care providers.

It's tempting to feel like you have to overwork as a missionary because people are supporting you and you don't want to waste their money. But you can't burn yourself out because honestly after being here I'd say you need at least 5 years to really make a lasting change. You need to get to know the people and culture first before you can even be effective. Haitians are not like Americans; half of starting something new is building relationships with people, and then they will gladly accept and help you then. Things are very difficult to change in Haiti. It's very challenging and takes a long time. And once you do, you need to stay for awhile to keep it going or things will just go back to the way they were once you leave. You can't work crazy hours for 5 years. And you have to get away every once in awhile for a mental break...which proves be expensive sometimes. Haiti is not set up for tourism, so decent transportation is expensive.

I know leaving here I didn't improve the hospital that much (just kept things slightly more organized so that administration totally wouldn't want to kick the free orthopedic program out because of the stress & strain we put on their private paying hospital), but I grew as a person and I'm sure God used me to touch a life or two as I was touched by many lives here. It will be bitter sweet to leave. I know the time is coming closer for this job to end, and frankly I can't work like this much longer. But I think about all the wonderful people I've met and how I really feel like I connect to the patients (and nurses, etc) here, and I will miss that greatly. I didn't get that in the states. I will miss speaking and singing in Kreyol. I miss the beautiful island and fruits! But I am thankful God placed me here for this time and I know He will continue to provide for the people of Haiti. And maybe God will have plans for me (together with my future husband) to return to Haiti. Only time and allowing God to lead my life will tell me what work I can provide on this earth that will most further His kingdom.

And all in all, I'm slowly learning to put others first. I put too much time & thought on my stresses & problems instead of praying about it (then letting it go in God's hands) and praying for others. So my pray is for all of you that you can put your faith in God to guide every little aspect of your life.