Week 3

9/19/10 (0748)

I was bitten up by mosquitoes Friday night, so I couldn't sleep well because for the itch. But, last night I took a benadryl and slept 10 hours. I am so thankful for medicine to help my itch! I am thankful for another week. I was glad we could serve yesterday (Saturday) for half a day, but I was exhausted and ready for my day of rest. I think I am also getting frustrated at the American charge nurse because she is a Type A personality and judges the Haitians a little too harshly. It really bothers me when Americans are so judgmental instead of trying to understand the culture. Also, putting ourselves in their shoes- I'm pretty sure a fair amount of Americans would steal if they had nothing to eat- become lazy if other people are providing free tents, service, and food.

So I think Samaritan's Purse is doing good work here (providing jobs for Haitians and leading people to Christ), but they might need to adjust how they serve the culture if what they are doing now is causing problems instead of just complaining about the Haitians. I'm sure it is frustrating, but I think especially for some of the American workers who didn't even want to be Haiti. I don't think that workers should be sent somewhere they don't feel God is calling them because I don't think they are as effective. But that is just my opinion. SP maybe could go about boosting the Haitian economy and providing resources for the Haitians to farm (In the long term...providing resources for a man to fish instead of just providing the fish is the better solution). The Haitian culture and way of life and resources need to be taken into consideration. Anyway, enough of that! Just getting out some of my frustrations. Oh, by the way I love the short term medical volunteers (Jean, Jane, Laura, Dr. Dan) and the Haitian medical staff- I'm not getting frustrated with them. It's just a few of the year-long SP Staff attitude and comments that I'm getting frustrated with at times.

It is true- everything seems great for a week or two before you pick up on the things that are going to frustrate you. But I'm only with SP for another week. I'm hoping at the other hospital I'm around the culture, language, and food more. I just think it's funny that I've gotten more frustrated with the Americans than the Haitians. Don't get me wrong, there are things that do bother me about the Haitian culture, I'm just trying not to be judgmental and thinking our culture is better than theirs (and that we, as Americans, know how to solve Haiti's problems...which we don't). So I need to do the same thing- not judge the Americans. This ties into the lesson I am studying this week from Romans 14. Lord, work in my heart today.

9/19/10 (2027)

Oh, what a joy to be alive today! I had a much needed day of rest and relaxation. We didn't have a car to go to church, so I spent the morning in devotional reading. I felt a headache coming on, so I napped an hour even though I slept 10 hours last night! We walked up the beach to the next bay so that was good exercise. The beach is mud and sand mixed with lots of rocks, sticks and trash so I couldn't walk barefoot. I saw lots of crabs, so I didn't want to get in the ocean barefoot. So I just quickly got in and floated. It felt so cool and relaxing. We then took a cool shower and just relaxed in the tent. Lunch and dinner was delicious (it was nice not have a peanut and jelly sandwich. I love peanut butter, but I guess not every day!)

It was nice to talk to my family for one hour. It makes me feel better at times. I feel dumb as nurse here at times, because I feel there is a lot I don't know. But I guess I know what I have experience in (Trauma and surgery), which is different than a clinic setting. I know I can learn though! Dr. Dan and Nurse Jane left. We are short 2 American nurses this week, but we got our new American doctor. Dr. Ingrid. She seems nice, so I'm glad. I pray that You, Bondye, will guide our upcoming week. Mwen Renmen ou, Jesus (I love you, Jesus).

9/20/10 (2130)

Bonswa (Good Evening)! I am the only one awake, so I need to go to bed soon! How the day seems to fly by. Today was another much needed day. We had a short clinical day- we only saw about 60 patients. So it gave us time to chat (the medical team).

We got back early and stocked while the Haitian Doctors drove to the bank to deposit their pay. We wanted to go out to eat at Ocean Grill (a new Haitian restaurant that my translator Charles friend opened) that night since we had a short day. After much persuasion and security scrunity, all 4 American medical volunteers (Kevin, Jean, Dr. Ingrid, and myself) got in the 4-seater truck with Dr. Bordes and Dr. Larial. It was well worth it- it was such a memorable experience. It was a quaint (not sure if that spelling is correct) place- straw/wood building, sand floor, lantern ceiling lights, and tables. The food was delicious- soup, salad, fish, rich and veggies. Then fruit for desert.

It was just so wonderful to support a Haitian restaurant and to get out. I kind of feel a little too sheltered at SP, so it was nice to get out in the culture with trusted Haitians. It was so interesting talking with the two Haitian Docs- they both speak Creole & French. Dr. Larial went to medical school in the Dominican Republic so he is fluent in Spanish as well and working on his English (so he knows french & Spanish medically). Dr. Bordes is fluent in English and conversational in Spanish (and he knows French & English medically). How amazing is it to be fluent (or at least conversational) in 3 or 4 languages. It is so interesting to hear their stories and perspectives. That their families lost almost everything in the earthquake and that Haiti is so different now. They wanted to know why we chose to come to Haiti. He also wanted to know why Americans are so scared to come to Haiti. You can tell he loves his country and wants us to love it too. His perspective is that most Haitians (even Haitians practicing voodoo) do not usually attack Americans, but are violent towards other Haitians.

Our answer was the US government has to put out travel advisories over even small instances. I guess he didn't realize the U.S. also recommends not visiting a lot of other countries as well. I think that made him feel better. He has been to the US two times. We all had fun talking about the places we've traveled and lots of other random topics. It was just such a relaxing evening that all the medical team (nurses and doctors) could enjoy together. Yes, we drove after dark but I've come to the conclusion that the safest way to travel in Haiti is with a trusted Haitian. Of course something bad could still happen, but for me it's not worth living life in a bubble because I would miss out on these cherish-able moments.

The American nurses I have met have been a God sent- Jean is a 62 year old lady with a lot of spunk and life in her; Jane is a loving and sensitive lady going through a challenging family situation right now so she had lots of insight to marriage; and Laura is a 29 year old ER nurse from NC. She is also in a committed relationship that is heading towards marriage so we had lots of long talks about that and so many other topics. I was sad to see her leave this morning. She went back to serve at the other base since we were short on nurses this week. They wanted her to be at the standing clinic since she has the ER Experience. They patients are sicker there they said.

I was glad to stay with my team for consistency and to follow up with patients from last week. I enjoy the people I am working with. Well, I would like to get 8 hours of sleep so goodnight (Bonwet!)

9/21/10 (1930)

Alpha & Omega- You are our rock, the beginning and the end. I like how Dr. Bordes put it “Every day I fall more in love with God.” Some days I feel that I seek my own way and I don't feel like I grow closer to You, but I hope to grow closer and more in love with You everyday.

I went to bed with a headache last night and thought maybe I could sleep it off, but I woke up at 3am with a splitting and nauseating migraine. I took my first imitrex (I have 8 more to last me the 6 months) and tossed and turned until I finally fell back asleep. I didn't think I would be well enough to work, but God subsided my migraine enough so I could work.

It has been drizzling all day- which I guess is rare for Haiti. They said usually it rains all at once. So we saw less patients, only about 90 patients. Today's theme was pregnancy. No malaria, but lots of scabies. There is an adorable boy named Benje (I'm not sure if the spelling is right) that just hangs out at the clinic all day. He was about 4 years old and full of life. We said he's going to be the next generation doctor.

I wore a dress today because I knew there would be no bathroom at Libidom. Also, it is cooler in a dress or skirt than the scrubs. I had to start out in pharmacy without my translator Charles, so I realized how thankful I am for him. I found out he was born in Haiti but moved to America as a young child. His dad has a U.S. Citizenship, but he only had a green card. After 9/11 he said the government became really strict. It's so sad to me that they would kick someone out who lived in America 28 years to a country he doesn't even know. I know something has to be done about immigration, but I wonder why we have to go to such extremes. But he has a good attitude about having to be there while he waits out the legality in America.

We all ride to the clinic in a land cruiser with a snorkel so it can go around water (although I don't think I want to be the one to try it out). But today, Dr. Bordes offered to let me ride in his truck so he could show me some things (that there really are street signs) and teach me more about Haiti. It was neat to hear his experience and perspective. That, yes, there are a lot of problems in Haiti, but you can tell he loves his country and he wants others to love it too. I told him I haven't noticed many traffic signs or laws, so he made sure to point out all the signs, but he said people do drive crazy in Haiti. We saw a huge truck half turned over by the mountainside- even Dr. Bordes said the trucks drive way too fast. Even some of the paved roads have cracks from the earthquake and the one bride split so we have to drive through the steam instead.

He talked about the 2 movie theaters that were in PaP. He spoke of his love of the piano, but unfortunately his keyboard was crushed in the earthquake. (Oh by the way, I got his earthquake story mixed up before. He was the one on the 4^th floor when the earthquake strike. Instead of trying to run down and out, he got on top of the roof and rode the house down when it collapsed. So scary, but that was a smart move on his part.)

We spent a lot of time talking about his girlfriend that he wants to marry. I also told him all about my wonderful boyfriend. All in all, it was just so interesting to learn more about Haiti. I asked him what Haitians thought of Americans, and he said that Haitians like Americans. I've noticed that not many Haitian females speak English (or at least not that I have encountered), so until I can learn more creole most of my conversations are with males. Pastor Robenson's female friend Nedyre spoke pretty good English and I know we would have spent a lot of time together if I would be near her.

Today there was generator problems so the electricity is mostly out and there is not much running water, but we will survive. We had chicken, lasagna, and vegetables for dinner. I enjoy the Haitian cooks. They always smile. I just wish I could talk to them more. This morning, the laundry ladies led us in song and it was so beautiful. I videotaped part of it because I want to remember it.

Oh, it was also such neat that the Haitian Doctors kept thanking all of us for taking them out to eat (even though technically they were the ones who drove us). It was a very memorable experience for them too. I've been helping doing a dressing change on an America staff with a wound. You don't get off duty as a nurse on a compound! But I like doing wound dressing changes so I don't mind. It is much cooler tonight and the wind feels great, so I am sitting outside to journal. Looking around, I see a beautiful mountain, lots of banana and palm trees, and the stars in the sky.

It is such a joy to see a Haitian accept Christ at our clinic. The Haitian Pastor prayers with all the patients and some choose to accept Christ, which is our ultimate mission. We drove to the Pastor's house after clinic to see his sick father-in-law. We met his wife (who had head and shoulder injury in the earthquake that still affects her) and his beautiful girl. I love it when the Haitians bring their few pictures of their families and show it off proudly. I was laughing today because at one spot on the road driving to the Pastor's house there was a donkey blocking half the road and he was not moving for anything so we had to drive around him.

I still think one of my favorite things in Haiti is the smiles and life of the children. They so want to talk to me and I wish I could talk more to them.

9/23/10 (0629)

Gracious Father, how wonderful it is to start the day well-rested. I went to bed at 7pm last night! It was a much needed rest.

I was saddened by what I was told yesterday; that human trafficking is a problem in Haiti. As well, almost no one (including Christians) waits until marriage to have sex. It seems from what I've overheard and sensed that culturally having children young is of value to a woman. Not saying that's a bad thing or judging their decision, but I am saddened by the rape and human trafficking.

This week at clinic has been much slower (fewer and less sick patients) than last week. I think it is because of the rain; people didn't want to come out in the rain and the day after the rain everyone needed to farm. I did have to give an IM shot to a 4 year old boy; and man was he kicking and screaming. I had to just go for the thigh because there was no way to keep him completely still. The doctor wanted me to drain the pus from a wound on his head, and you can imagine when I started coming at him again with another needle to do that, he about lost it! So I did the best I could, poor kid! I gave him a lollipop but I'm sure that wasn't enough for such a traumatic experience. But, it is exciting because the Pastor said on average 1-4 people accept Christ everyday at the clinic.

We got back early from clinic so the Haitian staff helped us stock medications. That was a nice treat because it went much faster. But some of them have a one-way 2-3 hour commute everyday, so it would normally be too much to ask them to stay any longer.

Jean and I took a nice walk through the local community and along the beach. It's moments like that, that I love the most. Being among the people and culture. We had a boy about 10 years old walk with us. He tried so hard talking to us (usually hand signals and all), but we just couldn't understand most of it. He did sing “I have decided to follow Jesus.” in English. He also could say “I'm hungry”, which I think is a phrase a lot of the children learn.

The shower and dinner was good as usual last night, but I was falling asleep at dinner so I went straight to bed after dinner. Well, that's all I can think of for now. It's time to start a new day! Lord, help me to serve people medically and spiritually.

9/23/10 (2152)

Today we saw 120 patients. No malaria today. We saw back the little baby girl with all the lesions. The baby is now 25 days old and gaining weight. The lesions are almost gone! It is such a joy to see that.

It is really enjoyable to work avec zanmi mwen (with my friends). They keep the atmosphere light and fun. It is nice having some phrases memorized now too. I am definitely adjusting to the heat and learning just to deal with the sweat. It's always good to have a sweat rag! The showers always feel wonderful at the end of the day! I never enjoy showering this much at home. I enjoyed playing a card game tonight instead of spending the evening on the computer.

I just realized how funny it is that everyone's perception of the day is so different. There could be 10 people that went through the same exact day as me and have 10 totally different ways to describe the day. So keep in mind as you read my blog that this is all from my perspective and opinions. I also might be wrong about some of my cultural observations because I am learning and sometimes Haitians tell me different things.

I was cracking up today when we were asking Charles today about his girlfriend and he said “She's not wifey material”. He turned to me and said “You should know what that means” (I have showed Wilshaw's picture to all of them so they know I'm around the black culture in America). And yes, I know what it means because I learned that word from my friends in Anointed Steps of Faith.

Charles is my translator that grew up in Connecticut. Charles is 30 years old so he said he's ready to settle down, get married, and have children but his girlfriend is not (I think she's about 23 years old). Well, I pray that You will guide him, Lord.

Well, it's late and I have to get up early to pack. Tomorrow is my last day at this clinic. I enjoyed watching the sunset today- spending time in quiet reflection with God. Mwen remen ou, Jesus!

9/24/10 (2200)

I am so happy for this sabbath day! A night to get rest, fellowship, and worship. My last day at clinic with Samaritan's Purse in Forte Liberte went well. We saw 120 patients! It is a good thing that patients are less sick this week. We had one boy with a infected deep cut- so they put some lidocaine and scrubbed it clean. He is supposed to go the hospital tomorrow to get a tetanus shot and have his dressing redone. I was glad Tiffany was there to help out because it's hard to leave the pharmacy to do a dressing change. It took about 15 minutes to do that dressing change and it would have gotten really backed up in pharmacy. Well- I guess that's how it was at my job on 6C- I almost always felt behind and rushed.

Lord, all of us Short term medical volunteers are noticing that our charge nurse Tiffany is really burnt out and you can tell she does not know how to handle the situation. So, Lord, I lift her up to You tonight. Speak to her heart and soothe her frustrations. Help her and Samaritan's Purse to decide the best way to handle the situation. It seems there are a couple S.P. Staff that are burnt out, so rejuvenate their souls and ignite Your joy, peace, and love in them. Provide the energy, ideas, cultural awareness, and fellowship they need. Also, I pray for the Haitians that have accepted Christ at clinic that they will find a church family to support their new faith.

We had a sudden wind and heavy rain in the middle of clinic- we first had dust and trash blown on us and then rain! So you can imagine I left the day feeling pretty dirty! Our supplies were getting wet so we had to crowd the tent and move in closer. In Haiti, personal space is not as much of a concept as in America. I mean it really doesn't bother me too much, but I think for some Americans it might. Apparently in PaP there was a terrible storm (not a hurricane but close to it)- very high winds & rain (they said it was raining horizontally) that knocked down trees and houses. There was also a tornado.

Dr. Bordes car tire popped and the one bolt would not budge, so they had to drive it somewhere to use a drill. I am going to miss my clinic team- I thought we all worked fairly well together. I enjoyed the 2 weeks and I am thankful for the experience. I am glad, though, that long term I will be in a hospital because that is the type of nursing that I know. I will miss all my new friends!

One of the coolest parts of the day was riding the helicopter from Jax Beach compound to the GO compound. It was raining still, so the helicopter came late. Jean and I had to make rain coats out of trash bags because our bags with our rain gear had already been sent back to the GO compound in the morning. Our helicopter driver was great! He had flown helicopters in the Vietnam war and had been shot down 4 times (and survived without long term disability) so I felt in good hands. It was still raining but we flew low enough that we could view Haiti. It is an amazing experience to see Haiti from the sky. It helps put the land in perspective. We had protect ear gear on that also had a headset so we all could communicate to each other.

It was nice coming back to eat dinner with Laura! I wish we had one more day together, but I leave bright and early tomorrow morning for Limbe. This next place is my 5 month stay. I pray for safety and a good start, Lord. In meeting new people, making friends, finding a teacher, the nursing work, etc.

Oh, another random thought: After driving on Haiti roads (a few paved roads with crazy drivers; uneven rock & mud roads, driving up mountains, and driving through streams), I cannot complain about the roads in Pennsylvania anymore.

I am memorizing more phrases and I am glad for that. I know I need to stay patient in learning. Well, it's bedtime!

9/25/10 (0923)

Gracious Father, there are certain circumstances that looking at them I can tell that You had Your hand in them. No one at the base knew where I was supposed to catch my flight to Cap Haitien, but the Haitian driver knew exactly where to take me. It is a separate airport from the American airlines airport and not really in safe walking distance by myself.

And then I was told that I could pay for the flight with credit card, but not the $40 bag overweight fee. Yesterday I had no cash (and no way of getting cash), so Dr. Ingrid gave me $40 out of the kindness of her heart (without me asking). I don't think it is a coincidence that the amount she gave me was exactly the same amount I needed to pay the overweight fee. I was told I can use cash or credit card, but I wasn't told I couldn't use credit card for the overweight fee when I asked the airline company weeks ago.
It is instances like this that I know Your hand was in this- You knew what was going to happen, so You placed it on Dr. Ingrid's heart to give me $40. It's a lesson that we need to listen if we feel that You are asking us to do something. And it's also an example that we can rely solely on You. You will take care of us like You take care of the flowers. You anticipate answering needs that we don't know we are going to even have.

It was such a joy to share one more breakfast with Jean and Laura. They are wonderful and I hope we all can meet up in Winston, NC (Where Jean lives). She said she would be tickled to have us visit. Jean and I took a walk around the GO Base. The ocean and mountains are just beautiful and breath-taking. I need to let go of any anxiety about my upcoming 5 months and trust in You. I have to not worry about the what-ifs, but just tune my ears and eyes to listen to You and see what You want to show me. I know that You will never lead me astray.

So, I praise You for all this. I can tell this is where You have called me to be at this moment in my life. Another joyful moment was watching the Haitian male driver and a French male joke today in the car. Haitians can at least understand French (even if they did not go to school- that's what they learn in school because it's the national language), but creole is what they speak at home. The guy from France had been there 5 months so he said he was able to pick up on the creole if it was slow. It's little instances and interactions that make me smile. One of my other favorite things is listening to the Haitians sing.
Well, just waiting for my flight at 1030. Excited, and after this lesson to teach me to trust God, not nervous, about my upcoming 5 months (Senk Mwa). Mesi Savior!

Oh, two more things have gone wrong, but I am refusing to worry about it. 1) I just realized I left my flute at the GO Base. My hope is that it will be found and I can pick it up in November when I come back to PaP for Pastor's wedding. 2) The Texas Board of Nursing said my fingerprint card was too light (to do the criminal background check to get my Texas nursing license) and I need to redo it again in the next 3 months or I will not get my license nor be eligible to reapply for the license again. I'm not sure if fingerprinting is going to happen in Haiti, so I lift this situation up to You, Lord. Intercede for me and find a way for it to work out. In Jesus Christ name, Amen.
9/25/10 (1830)
I thank You Father for a safe arrival in Limbe. It was another good experience to fly across Haiti- the island is such a mountainous country with lots of valleys. There is a central plateau area too. There are a couple huge streams that I noticed were all murky brown. I thought it was so funny because the little plane only sat 28 people, and there were 27 passengers. I think it is mostly the well off Haitians because the plane ride cost $150 USD round trip. The ground transportation is much cheaper in Haiti. I was asking Charles how much he pays to get from PaP to Leogane (about a 2 hour driver) on the tap-tap (the bus) and it is only about $4 USD he said. I also had my bag on my lap for the plane trip (which most airlines do not allow) and I could see the pilots the entire time.

By the grace of God, again, I found my driver, who did not speak English. But he was a jolly older gentleman who has lots of friends we passed along the way to Limbe. Cap Haitien is not nearly as overcrowded as PaP, but I'm imaging the building structures were similar to PaP before the earthquake.

I think I'm getting used to the bumpy ride and crazy drivers; although it still does freak you out to see a huge truck coming head on in your lane (to pass a car) and swerve over into their lane at the last second.
We got to Limbe around 1pm and had lunch. I met 2 of the Haitian doctors- they both seemed nice. I was just plain exhausted so I took almost a 2-hour nap. I was feeling to drained to go out and be sociable, so I figured I would wait until tomorrow. It was nice to have people around me all the time, so I was notice it when I by myself. It was nice to get a quick phone call from Dr. Bordes to make sure I arrived safely.

I talked to my family and Wilshaw for 1 hour- they have a satellite phone to call American. The American guy, Shawn, whose grandparents founded the hospital (Bon Samaritan Hopital), is back in Florida for the week. So I didn't get an orientation yet. I haven't met anyone on the base yet who is fluent in English and I don't know a lot of Creole yet.

So I just unpacked my things so I will be ready to go. I also can't get on the internet until Shawn come next week, but that will force me to read or socialize. My room is very spacious and nice. There is electricity lights, a fan, running water, and screens on the windows (I think I'm going to realize how big of a different that will make). The lunch was delicious. Well, I'm going to read before dinner. That's all I can think of now to share.

Oh, one time this week I used the word “either” when technically I should have used the word “neither.” The translator Marc Elie caught me on it and correct me, lol! Here I am getting correct on my English from a Haitian- but what can I say; that's why I'm not a teacher. I know my grammar is not the best. I'm glad for him though because he teaches an English course.