12/12/10 (1037)
Even though I'm a little saddened that I won't be going back to Haiti for awhile, I know all things work out for God's good. I printed out pictures to give to some of the patients and I'm not sure if I'll see them again because I don't know when I'll be returning yet. As well as to say goodbye to some volunteers not coming back. But, I can still praise God for the warm (and cold) weather, safety in Haiti, for rest and for work. I do not want to be idle during this time, so show me ways that I can serve You. I am enjoying my time with Wilshaw, but the days seem lonely by myself because I'm always used to being around people all the time except for my bible study time. It's good to have time just to yourself, but I love community living and the supportive Christians in walking distance.
I can tell it is going to take much longer to make close friends when I return because of not living in a community (like you do in college) so you don't get to get to know each other as quickly. That's why the transition after college was hard. I enjoy community living! We don't have to live in the same house, but same neighborhood to easily meet up to share food, exercise, discuss the word of God, etc. I have been growing close to God and learning so much about His word this last couple months. I pray that you open that opportunity up for Wilshaw here in Dallas and for when I return.
I lift up Haiti now. Lord, only You know what is going to happen in these elections and in general. I pray hard against the use of violence to prove their points and get their way. I pray for all the innocent people who have to suffer because of a couple people causing violence. I understand the frustration (as much as I can for it not being my country) because the people have been lead by very corrupt presidents in the past that have not attempted to help them. And the situation since the earthquake has not really improved- now they also tackle cholera. It's sad that violence seems to be the only way they know how to show their anger and frustration over it. All the roads, shops, and airports are shut down. So now most people cannot work and therefore won't have necessary money for food and clean water. And aid organizations will start pulling out if the violence gets bad so then there won't be much needed medical care, especially for the cholera outbreak.
So I pray that God's truth and gospel be heard among the turmoil. Without a change of heart and change of masters (God over sin), then not much will really change in Haiti. I lift up the true followers of Christ in Haiti as they suffer because of their fellow man's corrupt ways and as they preserve in the truth. May they find refuge and peace in Your promises. They will one day suffer no more, but live in eternity with You. I have met so many wonderful Haitians- to numerous to name them all.
Lord, You know my heart and my desires, but I will trust that things will go according to Your will in terms of when I will go back to Haiti and a future job back in America when I return. I will be excited to come back to America, but right now I feel slightly unsettled here because I feel that God is not finished with me yet in Haiti. But I should gladly receive the blessing of time here that God has given to me. I should rejoice and be glad in it, for each day is a gift.
13/12/10 (1721)
How grateful I am for this day. Through the temptations and the joys. I thank You for the Holy Spirit's guidance and Your word to study. It's so great to study history. And to see the examples of men who claimed to be Your children in godly and ungodly moments. We are also called to be the light & salt to this generation. I pray that I serve God in my words, actions, thoughts, & behaviors. Guide me to make my talk about Haiti this Sunday to reflect Your work through me in Haiti. May I take none of the glory.
I've been picking up things for our kitchen in Haiti, gifts for Gamide, and pictures for some patients & friends in Haiti. I'm so excited to give the little gifts out. People carry a few pictures, but it's hard to come by pictures in Haiti so I'm so excited to give out these pictures! But whew- it's different being back in the consumerism culture and driving! It's scary getting on these highways in Dallas because people drive super fast and expect you to force yourself on instead of making it clear that they're letting you on.
Well, it's time to practice my Kreyol and make lasagna.
14/12/10 (1212)
How excellent is God's name and truth. How we might fill our lives with temporary things that make us feel "good" or happy, but how short-lived they are compared to eternity with God in Heaven. Where there is true joy, peace, and love; and no more mourning, pain, or death. The reason You gave us the prophecy in the bible is to foretell us of what is yet to come so we can prepare ourselves. The devil knows Christ's return is coming, so he's fighting hard until his doom to bring as many souls into misery and final death with Him. It aches me to know so many people who don't believe or accept the truth. I hope to be a good friend to them in sharing the gospel, not just in words, but in action.
Lord, that is why no matter how many things are on my "to do list," I cannot compromise my time with You. I can cut out other unnecessary things. In bible study today, I read about Absalom's revolt. The theme taken from it was often things are not what they seem. For example, a smile covers an aching heart. As God's light & salt on this earth, I need to be open & sensitive in order to look beyond appearances in order to see people and situations for what they really are. This can be difficult because it takes time & effort to be a good friend as well as emotional energy in bearing in others burdens. Sacrificing ourselves to help (people other than family & friends) is against our fleshly nature a lot of times so it can be tough! But even with family it can be hard at times.
15/12/10 (1143)
Wow! The more I study God's word, the more I love God and have a better understanding of this world & my life. There are so many ways people try to disprove the gospel, but the truth will be made known one day in visible view to everyone. Help me to guard what I watch and read. Grant me understanding of what people believe so that I can relate to them and know the best way to share the gospel.
Thank You for placing Jenny in my life. A Christian nurse who works at Children's hospital in Dallas as a clinical nurse educator. She volunteered at HAH for 1 week in November. She gave me a tour and then explained how best to apply to the ICU's or floors. Apparently to work in the ICU, it would best for me to have peds or ICU experience before. So the options are to go through an internship program (with classes & longer training) to prepare me for the ICU (it's for post-grads or people like me who did adult nursing & want to switch to peds) or to start on a Peds floor first. It would start in June if they discover a need for more ICU nurses. Jenny said she loves working there. So I'm not going to worry about it, I know God will provide something for me where I will be the most effective as a Christian nurse.
16/12/10 (1153)
Gracious Father, I am so thankful & glad for this chance to visit my family. Allow me to be a blessing to them, and not use this week selfishly. I'm the one getting a 3-4 week break here so I should be serving them in anyway. I was glad for the 75 degree weather we had yesterday. Wilshaw and I got to eat outside and sit in the hot tub. Boy, did that feel good on the muscles. I've been having a great trip home- got some sleep on the first plane and did bible study on the second plane ride. I am almost finished with my photo album for Sondy, Gamide, Grace Orphanage, and Robenson's wedding. Excited to give them out!
17/12/10 (1021)
It's so nice to see my family! And even though it's really cold, the snow is beautiful. But boy am I glad for a warm house. I get to spend the day with my Grandma and my Aunts.
18/12/10 (1006)
I am grateful for this day of rest, service, & worship (well I should say week and a half of rest). Today, I will be helping my sister out with her school project. May I use today to serve my family with love and to honor my parents as God has asked us to do. It's been fun going on walks with my parents and Roxie. I stopped by to see Chris, Maria, & Greg. I love catching up with friends & family.
20/12/10 (1123)
I am so glad that I go to see my loving church family yesterday and to share what I've been doing. I was so happy that my whole family came too. We all worked together on Mary's projects afterwards and had a wonderful meal. Grant Mary & I the nursing knowledge needed for these care plans (brings back my college days) and projects. But, Lord, I lift up a request to fend the devil off because he is really trying to distract me right now. And I like how Pastor Steve said, we, as Christians, can't say "I can't help myself" because we have the power of Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit to fight it off. I want to think of what is holy, pure, & righteous.
22/12/10 (0847)
How great and magnificent is God. You make the sunrise and set everyday, as well as our heartbeats & breaths. So no matter what is happening, I can still praise You and seek You. I thank You for yesterday to spend chatting with my Grandma, organizing my finances, and spending the evening with church friends. It was fun to see Joe and Alison; I haven't seen them in years! I exercised with Mr. Dixon in the morning. Last night my parents & I went to the Dixons for a game night and chatting. I love it when my family sits down together for meals or games.
Well, time to begin this day. Lead me, O gentle Savior, so that in all that I have to do, I am still representing You and serving You. Not just doing busy work with a stressed attitude. There is no point to a "to do" list if I'm not glorifying You with it. Which reminds me I need to call my Grandma Fleur again because I felt like I was busy with other things when talking to her yesterday and didn't represent Christ in that instance.
23/12/10 (2331)
I am so thankful for these 5 days to spend with Mike and Wilshaw. And for our family Christmas celebration last night with dinner and playing games around the fire. It is such a joy when I can just enjoy time with my family. As we get older and our schedules are different, you learn to cherish those special moments. Like doing errands with my dad in the morning and eating lunch with my mom at her work. Lord, continue to give me wise choices with my finances. Relying on donations gives me extra accountability and I pray that I use it wisely.
Mike and I had fun traveling to Dallas. We explored the Chicago O'hara airport. It's like a museum in there! And they have one terminal that has a light show on the roof and relaxing music. I could have sat there for awhile and enjoyed that. Then we enjoyed a game of spit after dinner. I just love hanging out with Mike- the simplicity of having fun and chatting. Well, the flight is descending. I just realized I've probably ridden as many flights this past year than I have my whole life. Don't think I'd want a job where I had to fly all the time though.
24/12/10 (1146)
Savior, as we look forward to celebrating Your birth, I pray that we truly reflect on ourselves and think of others above ourselves. I can see my spiritual growth as well as things I still need to change to grow.I don't want to be a lukewarm Christian. In revelation 3: 15-16, Jesus says "I know your deeds, that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you either one or the other! So because you are lukewarm- neither hot nor cold- I am about to spit you out of my mouth." I want to follow Christ no matter what the cost. I lift up the Christians in Iraq in other parts of the world that are being persecuted, even killed, for claiming faith in Jesus. May You give them hope and peace so that they will see the future life for believers. It gets me thinking, would I really openly claim to follow Christ if I could be beaten or killed for it? I hope I would.
25/12/10 (1600)
Rejoice, Rejoice~ Emmanuel was born. We celebrate the miraculous birth of God's only son, Jesus today. It can be easily drowned out by the business of planning, cooking, services, shopping, decorating, etc. But to truly sit and contemplate on the miracle with each other and what the birth brought to us. Emmanuel, Savior, Redeemer, and Friend. There are so many wonderful ways to describe Jesus.
For me, having a year away from decorating and shopping/making gifts has been a good way to change it up. Don't get me wrong- I still enjoy those things & will be excited for them next year. Other traditions, such as having peanut butter kiss cookies on Christmas Eve, were a little different this year too. The 3 of us had dinner by candlelight and fire. We then sat by the fire and enjoyed its warmth. We had a little bible study and made s'mores. It felt nice to go to bed early. I thought we'd be up by 6am, but we slept until 8am.
We had some delicious baked oatmeal before out way to service. I enjoyed hearing Your story and promises. You are not distant, uncaring, fickle, or angry God (using that term as a God who just seeks to destroy us. Yes, you will judge us according to our works, but You desire us all to accept Christ's sacrifice in order that his blood will cover our sins and we can be saved). We went on a walking trail through downtown afterwards. We saw a couple people, but for the most part it was empty. It will be another wonderful evening to relax and enjoy each other's company.
Lord, I am still a sinner in need of your grace. My thoughts are still sinful at times. And I think the devil knows what tactics to use to try to get me to sin. And I think he tries harder when you are growing closer to God. But I know he's been defeated, so I pray for You to guard my mouth, mind, and soul. Help me not to make any haste decisions in sin. Help me remember I representing You every moment. I think of the girl at LCOG who wants to be a missionary when she's an adult so she looks up to what I am doing. And having the financial accountability really makes me have to not take my decisions, thoughts, & behaviors lightly. People know I call myself a Christian and they are watching. It's good though because accountability helps keeps us on tract (and get back on tract if you veer off the path) and can help you stay focused knowing others are watching. If I keep my thoughts on You and take the necessary precautions to avoid things that lead me to temptation, I can stay on the righteous path and Honor You. Thank You for Your Son, Jesus, to take away my sins when I don't do that.
28/12/10 (1130)
I am having such a fabulous time with Mike and Wilshaw- cooking together, building fires, rock climbing, seeing the Chronicles of Narnia movie, making cookies, chatting, sitting in the hot tub, and going on walks. All 3 of us getting together won't happen as often as I'd like, so I like to cherish these moments.
29/12/10 (1548)
Even though I've had a great time visiting friends & family, I am ready to go back to Haiti on Sunday. I've gotten more than enough time to rest, spend time with friends & family (well I can always have more of that), & shop for some food to take back. I've gained back the 10-12 pounds I've lost, which I wanted too. But it's just funny how 1 month in America will do that to ya again. And I'm not exercising any different here- so it's definitely the diet! Now, I just need to prep myself for the cold showers, mosquitoes, and rice & beans!! But the team coming back has had lots of time to refresh & rejuvenate. Because of the presidential elections still up in the air, they are not taking any short term volunteers at the Adventist Hospital. So it will be the Lindsay's, the Dietrich's, Marc, Brian, Sarah, & I. We have had good teamwork in the past, so I pray that we will continue to work together as a team to serve our God. Give us the strength, courage, & wisdom to do Your will at Hopital Adventiste d' Haiti in this new year, 2011.
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