Week 13

28/11/10 (0847)

It's a brand new week! I am thankful for the bible study books I have. Brian lent me a book on the end time delusions. I pray for wisdom and insight into this topic. There are a lot of false theories and misinterpretations. I am also glad for a wonderful nights rest on the roof. I never get tired of the beautiful sun, moon, stars, and sky that You have formed. It's like the song "O Lord my God, when I in awesome wonderful, consider all the worlds Thy hands have made." (How Great Thou Art).

I dawned on me that I'm going to feel so cooped up when I go home. I am used to buildings without windows and half walls. Everything is not enclosed so that you get a breeze since there is no A/C. And I'm sleeping on a hospital bed that is actually comfortable. I finally found a pillow! I was just using some clothes before.

I was laughing when I thought about when Phillip, one of the CBM (rehab techs), showed one of his patients a picture of another patient that was in worse off condition than that patient in order to motivate the patient to get moving and stop complaining. Lol, I wish I could use that technique back home, but that would definitely break HIPPA.

Well, it's time to start this election day.

29/11/10 (1355)

I enjoyed going around this morning with Sondy and Wendia to read bible verses to the patients in Kreyol (I had the kids read it because their pronunciation is better). It's a slow Monday because it's the day after the election and we still don't have an anesthesiologist and working C-arm. We did all the wound vac changes yesterday so there really isn't much medically to do today.

It is funny because everyone who voted has a black permanent mark on their thumb. Apparently that is their way of knowing if you voted already. Definitely makes it obvious who voted and who didn't. Can you imagine them doing that in America. I've only seen 2 people who have voted so far. A lot of people said they didn't bother voting because nothing would change anyway.

Last night I read my milk book and spoke to Marc for awhile. I am fighting a cold so I had to take it easy today. Unfortunately I passed my cold on to Sondy. So I gave him juice and oatmeal since I made him sick. We sat outside last night and chatted. I really love those 2 kids. I think I really like the ages 11 and 12. They're still somewhat innocent but old enough to be able to do more.

Lord, a good question to reflect on is what do my actions make people think. Do I represent You with my actions. Some times I think yes, sometimes no. And the difference is when am I living in the spirit and when I am not. It is good to keep in mind that actions speak louder than words.

30/11/10 (0721)

I can't believe it's the last day in November!! The time is flying. I'll be happy to see my friends and family in less than 3 months, but I will miss some things here. The friends I'm making and speaking Kreyol. As the Christmas season approaches and it doesn't feel like "normal" Christmas scene for me (It's 80-90 degrees, no Christmas songs, and no Christmas lights), it makes you realize what the real meaning of Christmas is for those who celebrate it as the birth of Christ. It's good to reflect on all that You did on this earth!

I like the idea that through us interceding in prayer for those unable or unwilling, that we learn compassion as we pray for them. And as we pray for those that may not like us, we are also able to bless someone who is cursing us when we allow the Spirit to lead us. Then God intercedes in situations that Satan had control of people. The example was Abigail interceding for her husband, who really didn't deserve it because he was lazy and a fool. So the same for us we are not interceding because we will gain something out of it or the because the person deserves it (in human terms). We didn't deserve Jesus to die on the cross for our sins, but God has so much compassion for us that He sent his sinless son Jesus to bear all our sins so that we may live eternally with Him. So I know I need to spend more time in prayer for others. In the morning, throughout the day, and at night. It's like the bible verse "Pray without ceasing." Prayer being communication with God. It keeps our thoughts, and thus our actions, on godly things.

I love the group of people here. There were 9 of us doing pilates in the hallway yesterday. So fun! And I love how we have been cooking and eating together. We had another slow day again today. So I had lots of time to sit down and practice Kreyol today.

4/12/10 (0811)

Wow, it's been awhile since I've written in my journal. I'm so glad that even though I didn't get a lot of sleep that I feel awake, refreshed, and joyful this Sabbath morning. It's enjoyable to be around others who keep the Sabbath too because it makes it a joy more than something that causes me to have to miss out on things. I was glad to go to divine service with Sondy again. I am glad for my bible lesson studies to provoke learning more about God and His truth. There is so much in the scriptures to learn! You can never be finished learning. And you truly can learn something new about verses every time.

There were so many thoughts I wanted to shared, but now I can't remember them all. One story was when some of the Haitian female cleaning staff pointed out my phone on the pocket near my breast. They said that's no good because it causes cancer. I just thought it was so generous and good that they have that idea. Oh...and I also decided that I don't like being in charge of other adults. I wouldn't want to be a manager or charge nurse. Yesterday I had to mention to Onaphee, one of the best nurses at the hospital, that this patient still needs the antibiotic (no one gave it the day before). It wasn't her working the day before but she still got defensive about it. It's hard because she's my friend and I wasn't trying to blame here. Just inform here that the patient still needed the antibiotic. Well, I know there were many more thoughts and observations but I can't think of them right now.

4/12/10 (2241)

Today was such a blessing even though I didn't get to get away from the hospital (it's been 1 month since I've gone anywhere except the Delimart). I was supposed to go to Stella's house but she forgot about something she had to do. After lunch today we listened to a sermon. Then Marc & I headed to our only "oasis" here, the roof, for a nap and reading. Sam's mom made us food for dinner. Delicious!! We ate on the roof and chatted for a couple hours on God. It was truly a blessing. I don't think I've really ever had this type of group- Marc, Brian, and Audra. We have grown close over a short period of time (since we are around each other 16/7....I took 8 hours off for sleep but even then we are around each other sometimes when we sleep on the roof). So we feel comfortable talking about more personal things and many topics of the bible. It is really helping me grow as a Christian and have accountability. We talked about many things- if ignorance is a good or bad thing (spiritually and in terms of what is happening in the world), drums/worship styles, our behavior affecting how others view us as Christians and ultimately how they then view God.

I have learned: 1) I need to be the thermometer, not the temperature when someone is upsetting me (keep my cool). 2) I need to share what I am learning with others. 3)I need to study the verses that confuse me for myself in depth until I feel like God gives me understanding. 4) I need to understand the concepts behind all the things we do/obey as a church (it's good to know why you do what you do. See where it is in scripture and the guidance of the Holy Spirit - even the little things. To see/resolve differences. Is it a matter of salvation or opinion/preference). 5) I need to allow the Holy Spirit to work in me over issues He may be trying to teach/convict me.

So I feel refreshed even though I did not get to leave. We are going somewhere next weekend, we've all decided. So after talking to Marc, I think I might be interested in being a PA (Physician Assistant). Apparently, you have to specialize as a Nurse Practitioner so if you wanted to switch specialties you would have to go back to 2 more years of school. As a PA, you can just do a fellowship for any specialty if you wanted to switch. I am still going to do floor nursing for a couple more years, but I know I can't do it my whole life (mostly because of the cliques and cattiness of the co-workers. Marc said it was like that in the ICU too).

I am glad that I have set up a routine here. Exercises M, W, F. Group bible study W, F. Kreyol lessons Tu, Thur. Cook and blog on Sunday. It's nice to have a little more structure. I never had structure back home because of my rotating work schedule. It's a little frustrating that I cannot just go to the market by myself now that I can ask how much it cost and I know the numbers and names of the fruits & vegetables. I feel bad asking Mac all the time because he does so much for us all. It's just the overcharge us way to much. There is no set price, so they charge you what they think you can afford. Being a blan automatically makes the price 2 or 3 times the normal. If you've dressed extra nice as a Haitian they charge you more too. I told Mac he needed to dress down when he goes shopping for us. For example, the lady at first wanted to charge us 10 Haitian dollar for 1 papaya (which his $1.20 USD) she brought it down to 8 HD ($1 USD), which is just ridiculous price for here. It's hard because I don't like supporting us getting completely ripped off. It's hard because I know the Haitians struggle day to day to just survive at times, but I don't think it means we should pay way more than it's worth just because we have more money. I like to support their businesses and economy. I dunno...I'm open for discussion about this. 

I really am enjoying the Dietrich's (the Ortho doctor and his wife). I didn't realize they were 65. They look and act a lot younger. They have a lot of energy and Dr. Dietrich how so much passion still for orthopedics. It inspires me to find the job I love so I can be most effective. And being here makes you realize how much opportunity we really do have in America. I know right now opportunities are more limited because of the economy and lots of people who can't find jobs, but in general we have way more opportunities, especially as women.

And variety of so much. Especially food- the first thing I want back in America is Mexican food! I've been craving a taco salad!! And variety in things to do for fun and things to learn.

Apparently voodoo was also made an official religion here. The current president practices voodoo. And I guess a lot of people who go to church services go just because of fear of voodoo. Apparently it affects even the Christians here and they have superstitions because of it. Apparently a lot of evil comes out of voodoo. We were talking about how much should you know about the secular culture and other religions of places you are ministering in. Marc said you don't want to know more about voodoo or you will have nightmares. I believe her on that one, but she also said if we have faith in God we have no reason to fear. We know He has won the battle over evil already. We were talking about how  for things to truly change in Haiti (and America too), it needs to be a change in the mindset of faith and trust in God. And turning away from idols and things like voodoo. Because Haiti didn't start falling apart after the earthquake. Unfortunately it has been falling apart for many years.

It's sad to see the children not get what they should deserve (clean water, food, education, etc). And I think it's hard for parents because some of them feel like their children would have a better opportunity of survival and opportunity in America so people have asked us as foreigners to adopt their children. My patient Jonas asked me if I wanted his 2 children. He felt that since he lost his leg he will not be able to support his family anymore. It does make you wonder why some people have to suffer more than others, but God we know You love all Your children equally and You want us all to join You eternally. So You make that opportunity equal for everyone. So no matter what situation we have to live in or endure here on earth, we all have the chance of living with You eternally in Heaven. We are called to bear with each other and help each other out on this earth. It will never be fair and perfect on this earth because of sin, but we can do our part to have compassion on each other and not to be selfish. The two great commands are "Love Thy God with all your heart, soul, and strength. And the second is to love thy neighbor as thyself."

We're sleeping on the roof again tonight. It's actually a little chilly. I'm like a Haitian now- thinking it's cold when it's 70 degrees. And I don't think it's rained in weeks. I'm so used to rain a couple times a week in Pittsburgh. Well, I know there were other stories I wanted to share, but I can't remember them anymore.