Week 11

14/11/10 (2230)

I'm so glad that I was able to catch with with my family, Wilshaw, Emmy, and my Grandma today. And that I could squeeze in grocery shopping between working. Unfortunately I didn't get to buy my zabouka (avocado) because she was trying to charge me way too much.

This group is on top of what they want to do, which is good, but they are a little overbearing and want to do things their way instead of the way things run now in this hospital. They were here months ago when things were different so they think they know. Except the ortho attending is fine because he has not been here before so he's willing to do it however we ask this time. So it's hard because I am younger than all of them so I don't think they respect me as much. But I am trying to be assertive when I know I really need too. And I can't take anything personal. Just try to keep things running smoothly. Jessica and Elinor left to help in a cholera center so it's just me this week. Well I can barely keep my eyes open, so it's time for bed.

15/11/10 (1325)

How good it is to take a mid afternoon break to sit before God's feet and study. And it dawns on me every once in awhile how beautiful the view from here is. I might be getting frustrated at times with the surgery team, but I have to keep in mind that they are doing lots of needed surgeries and clinic. And then they leave on friday. I feel bad but the lack of respect for me is frustrating. I don't know why so many American health care providers feel the need to show off and belittle others. What every happened to teamwork and just donig your job? Don't get me wrong, it's not everyone but enough to make me feel like I'm working back in America. I've been enjoying the more relaxed Haitian work atmosphere. And not so much competition.

But, Lord, I'm keeping in mind there have been thousands of people dying of cholera and I'm healthy. So I should have nothing but praises. Please be with those sick people and health care providers. And work in me so that I can be a display of Your love. Help me not to feel powerless or overwelmed. Help me to think of others first and not let my perception and emotions rule my behavior. I lift all this up in Jesus name.

16/11/10 (1353)

Taking a break from the busyiness of the day and coming before God is the most peaceful part of the day. It helps me to recollect myself- the good, bad, and the ugly. Today I am handling things much better. There is so much to do! Patient care, charge nurse, and other random things. I guess nursing in any capacity is busy and you have 20 things on your mind at one time. May I see the big picture and minor details in the right proportion. May I balance it correctly.

So how am I feeling now: Physically and mentally exhausted. I'm confused as to why some Americans come to a country of great need and complain because there is not everything we have at home and degrade the workers of that country. I'm disappointed I can't go to Limbe this weekend to see my friends again (because of the riots in Cap Haitian and Limbe), but all things go together according to God's will so no need to fret. Limbe was mentioned in the news as having riots, so I wondered what would have happened if I would have stayed there. It's a small countryside town, but I think it's very political.

Apparently the rumor is that the Nepalene U.N. Brought the cholera so they are attacking them in Cap Haitian. They apparently beheaded some type of politician as well. I guess they are attacking foreigners in general too. Riots, burning things, blocking roads, etc so everything had to be shut down and foreigners cannot safely leave their houses.

I guess at our hospital there was a young man (25) brought in basically dead from cholera yesterday. They tried to resuscitate him, but were unsuccessful. After he died, the family left without taking the body. So I guess the Haitian doctors dug a hole in the cementry to bury him. When they drove again to put the body in, people started stoning them so they had to leave and bring the body back. People are upset that there are cholera centers in their areas so they are burning tires in front of them and causing chaos when people try to bury the dead. The WHO said they cannot take the body we currently still have because they are running into the same problem. So they're not sure what to do with all the bodies.

So myths and misinformation of cholera has lead to frustrated and scared people who don't know how to react. So I pray for all the providers who are trying to spread the truth about cholera, the treatment, and prevention. I feel fine here- just taking prevention precautions. And have extra water on hand in case any craziness starts up.

17/11/10 (1641)

There may be a lot of violence, overwelming, and frustrating situations all around us but we can still sing praises. I am still managing and trying to connect with the team. We're not sure when the doctor is going to be able to come in because his wife dislocated her shoulder. So there might be a couple days without an orthopedic surgeon, so the doctors are trying to prepare me to be able to take care of the patients here. Of course, there are Haitian doctors we can call on if need be. I would never do anything I don't have training in or don't know.

I'm trying to think of stories- I'm been so busy I haven't had time to journal, talk to Wilshaw, learn more Kreyol. Whew- I almost feel bad for saying it but I am kind of looking forward to a couple days without surgeries. I think I got a little discouraged after the one doctor said before I speak Kreyol I need to practice my pronunication. I know he was just trying to be helpful but I took it personal.

My patient Metelo is still here- slowly improving but unfortunately developing complications- UTI, pnemonia, and pressure ulcer. He is the patient who came in unstable 3 weeks ago with an open book pelvic fracture and femur fracture. The femur fracture is fixed, but he needs the ex-fix on the pelvis for at least 6 weeks. So we are doing everything to him because he is such a high risk for complications- he already has 3 and we can't afford a clot (They can't do heparin drips here)!! It's exciting because I feel like I've been there through his whole case and we have been taking good care of him- despite his complications. We have been turning him and practicing deep breathing but he probably wasn't doing it on his own. And I've connected with his family and they know my name! I love that. His son looks just like him.

It still surprises me how much the family does without complaining. Bathing, pin care, turning and repositioning, feeding, changing the linen, etc. It was so crazy the one day I was in the room with Metelo when the family was changing the linen. Instead of having him roll side to side to change the sheet, there was 5 or 6 of them and they literally lifted the patient off the bed and switched the sheet. Well, that's one way to do it! Someone is basically always with the patient. Unfortunately it breaks my heart that someone is not always with Sondy, our 12 year old boy that has been here 2 months. He has a mom and a dad but they rarely come.

I like making friends with the nurses and nursing students. It's been busy this week so I haven't been able to interact with them as much. I hope I'm not missing out on any witnessing opportunities because of busyiness.

I've been doing the cooking this week since Marc cooked for us last week. Not sure what I have to make tonight! I'm glad to have Marc and Brian for spiritual accountability partners. To keep our goal and mission focused on Christ.

It's so nice outisde- like in the 80's with the sun setting. It's crazy to imagine it's cold in PA!

19/11/10 (2300)

I think I say this almost every week, but I am grateful for this sabbath day. It was a challenging week for me and mentally exhausting so I'm glad to have a day away from it all. It's not the patients- I like them all but I just need a day break not to have to worry about anything. Mostly the exhaustion is from being placed in a role I haven't been in before and working with people who didn't always respect me. But it did get better as the week went along. I know the short term medical people paid a lot of money to be here and they brought a lot of knowledge and skills. So I'm thankful for that! It was just the approach. It's hard for the Haitians when every short term team comes in and changes things around because they can't get established. And the other bad thing is them questioning the Haitian doctors orders- I don't know why people think the Haitian doctors are less qualified. They may not have the capacity to do all that we do, but they definitly are just as skilled and knowledgeable.

But, I hope all in all that I represented Christ this week. The plastic's resident removed my mole this week so that was a blessing! So we do have an orthopedic surgeon come today. We found out late thursday night that he was coming in still on Friday. His name is Terry Dietrich. He will be here for one year. Him and his wife seem nice! I explained all the patients in detail.

I enjoyed the slow rounds with CPM (our therapy group) this morning so I had time to actually look at the patient's chart. We didn't have a doctor all day so I just made sure everything was being done that needed done. And I took the time to assess all the patients, remove Metelo's sutures (which were probably on too long and hard to remove because they were crusted over with drainage from the pin sites), dressing changes, and being sure antibiotics were being given. It's exciting to see the progress the patient's are making- especially the 3 motorcycle accident patient's who came in to our hospital in bad shape.

I ended the day with walking Sondy and watching the sunset outside. We spoke in Kreyol and even some of the translators came over. It is fun listening and speaking Kreyol. Even though I can't understand it all, it's exciting when I can! Lord, I lift up the sexual immortality though going on. May the original intent of sex before restored. I was overjoyed to hear the one male translator tell me he is waiting until marriage to have sex. I know there are not many men like him so I really encouraged to stay strong in that mindset and read proverbs! Because I know it's not always easy for him.

It was cute today because we have 3 health care professionals from France. So the one lady was trying to ask me questions but she only speaks a little English. So she was telling the Haitian nurse in French and the Haitian nurse was translating it to me in Kreyol. I felt reencouraged in my Kreyol effort today. Especially when one of the Haitian doctors overheard our conversation and told me I speak Kreyol well for being here 2 months. I love this Haitian nurse, Onphee. She is trying to learn English and she's just fun to talk too. As well as she's an excellent nurse. I try to interact with all the Haitian nurses, but I'm terrible at names.

Then the evening wrapped up with bible study and sky gazing on the roof. The moon is super bright tongiht and it was neat to watch it go in and out of the clouds. And the temperature is just right! I love this analogy brought up by Brian: God is like the sun and we His children are like the moon. The moon reflects the light from the sun, as we should reflect God's light. But sometimes our light is covered by clouds.

Tonight we are sleeping on the roof. Because the generator and occassional smog smell, it is very peaceful outside right now. But even though it was a stressful and frustrating week for me, I'm sitting here thinking of so many people who have it much worse off than me. Metelo's wife died today. Sondy has no one to fed him (and he's only 12 years old). All the amputees and people with health problems. All these people sick and dying of cholera. All the unrest and riots. Sometimes I feel like I did not do all that I could or wanted, but the day's just go by so fast! So I need to make the most out of every interaction with each patient. I need to see them as a whole and not let the busyiness of everything get in the way of that.

Well, I'm thankful to have the whole crew back. We are now an official cholera center. I'm hoping the gate is finished before the elections. Well, I'm exhausted! Night night!